Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Pumping blood back to the heart

Ok, well this is my first post and I wanted it to be about the main reason I am doing this blog.  I was molested as a child and I am still dealing with alot of pain from it.  Being molested was not the worst part, it was that my parents did not do anything about it.  I am in my 30s with two small children and my biggest worry is that I will never have the kind of relationship with my kids that I want because of the kind of person I have become because of what happened.  I love my kids more than anything, but I sometimes am closed off emotionally that I feel I have no control of.  I have been to countless therapists and read many books and nothing has seemed to "fix" things.  The only thing that does seem to help is talking about the sexual abuse with others, so I thought what better way to get my pain out then through a blog.  I of course will blog about other things too, like motherhood, day to day frustrations, humorous topics (even though the start of this blog isn't one), and just whatever topics may come up. 

I know there are many other people out there that have gone through the same thing, but we just keep it under the rug as if it didn't happen.  I know from my experience I have been told things like "it happened so long ago, you shouldn't still be dealing with this, "you have to just let it go, " was it really that bad?"  Those are from people that just don't get it or don't care to.  We need to clean the dirt that has been swept under the rug and bring it to the surface.  It is still a taboo subject and it shouldn't be.  By not talking about it or being made to feel bad by talking about it, creates a feeling like "we" did something wrong or that we should just "drop" it.  Talking about this openly and honestly is the only way we can help prevent molestation, help others heal from abuse, and to educate people about it.

1 comment:

  1. I'm sorry that happened to you.

    I have a not exactly similar situation in my past and its hard. The only way you get by seems to be by burying it, not addressing it, "moving on". Except you don't really move on, you just don't feel.