Thursday, June 30, 2011

You Didn't Protect Me - Lyrics to a song I wrote to express my feelings on being molested

I may look tough
I may look calm
But inside me is a hurt little girl
You weren't there for me, when I needed it most
You didn't believe me ,when I needed you to
And when you did, the damage was already done
My innocence was stolen, you could have restored it
Time was ticking, you let it run out
Instead of a time of healing, it was a time of blame
Now you are left with the shame
You just stood by while I looked you in the eye, waiting for you to rescue me
But you didn't, you didn't protect me
No you didn't, you didn't protect me

You could have stopped it, but you chose to turn the other way
Now you’ll regret it for the rest of your life
I’ve paid the price of your mistake
A heavy price that is too hard to name
I have suffered, more than you could ever know and I am sick of carrying this load
I could never do to my child what you did
I will always protect them, I will always be there for them, I will always stand up for them.  I will never make your mistake
What I now know, is it is time to let go, it is time for me to show myself, that I can be better cause of this
I will not suffer anymore, I will bring down my wall, I will open my heart again
I will not let this define me anymore
I can heal, I will heal, I have to.  I was hurt by you and now I am just hurting myself
I want to be calm inside as I am out.  I want to not be scared, I want to not feel judged, I want to stop worrying.
 I want to be happy, I want to love life, I want to be free of this pain. 
I know this will always be apart of me, it has shaped the way I am, but it doesn’t have to control me. 
I need to show myself that I deserve to be loved and protected, even though you didn’t think I did.

I may look tough
I may look calm
But inside me is a hurt little girl
You weren't there for me, when I needed it most
You didn't believe me ,when I needed you to
You just stood by while I looked you in the eye, waiting for you to rescue me
But you didn't, you didn't protect me
No you didn't, you didn't protect me
You didn't protect me

1 comment:

  1. Thank you for this, I haven't the words. I am sharing your poem with my friend Dawn, who shared her story on my website about her mom not protecting her from sexual abuse at the hands of stepfathers. http://thebeautifulkind.com/articles/conquering-past-demons-dawns-story-part-1

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