Friday, July 22, 2011

We Can't Do It All

That is what we are told as Moms, that we need to take a time out for ourselves, try to lower our expectations on what a "clean" house is, don't do everything in one day, ask for help if we need it, etc etc etc..  Maybe for some moms out there, all these things are possible, but for some of us, we have people in our lives that just don't get it and make it a little more difficult for us.  There are days that I have so much to do that I feel so overwhelmed that I don't do anything.  Instead of breaking things down, I see the whole picture and tell myself that I will never get all these things done and just kind of stress out.  I think it is since I am a work at home mom (I love that title, better then sahm), there are these expectations that since I am at home, I have so much time that there is no reason not to get everything done.  (hahaha)  Excuse me, but cooking, cleaning, running errands, paying bills, getting and putting up groceries, doing laundry, folding and putting up clothes, and others things that come up each day, is a job, I just don't get paid for it.  All of these things are suppose to get done while taking care of two kids, one in which clings on to me for dear life from the moment she is awake.  (separation anxiety, teething, who knows)  So trying to get all these things done while taking care of 2 kids and keeping them entertained at the same time, is not always easy.  If you have kids you cannot expect your house to be clutter free or have a house that is spotless.  Even if you can afford a cleaner, most of us feel guilty that we have to get a cleaner because we should be able to do it all.  I hate the fact that when we have company, I hear my husband tell people "Oh sorry about the mess..."  We have 2 kids, of course there are going to be toys everywhere!  What do you expect, the little miss and mister to only pull out one toy at a time and then go, "Oh my, I want to play with that one, let me put this one back now..." hahahaha, yeah right!  This is what happens:  Before company comes over Mommy puts toys up in a basket, Mommy turns her back for a couple minutes and cleans up something else, Mommy comes back and lovely children have dumped all the toys back on the floor because they had this deviant plan all along.  So Mommy goes "F*ck it", and goes into the bathroom for her "time out."  I also get things like this from my sympathetic husband, "My mom had 4 kids, if she could do it, so can you and you only have 2 kids."  I ONLY have 2 kids?   "I had the kids all day, I don't see what the big deal is."  Ok, having the kids all day while you sit on the couch and watch TV is NOT THE SAME THING THAT I DO!  Ok, I feel a little better.
Unlike popular belief, we do not sit at home all day and watch Dr. Phil while eating bon bons.  Do they even still make bon bons? I don't even remember the last time I actually sat on the couch and watched an entire program by myself without worrying or doing something for the kids.  It also doesn't help that when my mom comes to visit, she says things like this in front of my husband, "Well I worked and still had time to clean my house" or "Oh my gosh, you cleaned."  I have had plenty of issues with my MIL, but one thing that I can say is that she at least stands up for me when it comes to the house and taking care of the kids.  She always is understandable and puts her son in his place, and she is the one that had the 4 kids and little me only has the 2! My mom should be the one on my side, not making a case for my "better" half.  I know I am not the only one in this position, because I hear from other moms I know that they are in similar situations.  Their husbands, including mine, think that since we are being supported, they don't need to lift a finger and if they do we should be rubbing their feet and praising them for their "extra" effort of taking out the trash, changing a pee diaper(not even a poopy one), or "babysitting" the kids for us.  WHAT?  Since when is is called "babysitting" when it is your own kids?  ARGH! 
So what I have realized while writing this is maybe these are also my own expectations since I put up with it.  Instead of complaining about it and trying to do the impossible, I should just say "Screw this sh*t" and when things get overwhelming, sit on the couch, watch a pre-recorded episode of Cheaters (ok I really don't watch that) while eating fattening ice cream, put the kids in the other room(safely of course) and have them watch Yo Gabba Gabba.  I know you are gasping either because of the forbidden putting your kids in front of the TV (they will be scarred for life) or you are gasping because of Yo Gabba Gabba.  Is it just me or are those characters a little "off?"  Oh well, my son loves them and it is educational.  Anywho, at least I got this off my chest and my husband can live another day!

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