Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Give Up Your Child, Don't Kill Them

On the news this morning is the story of a woman in La Habra, CA who is charged with attempted murder of her 7 mo old.  Yesterday night, she dropped her baby from a parking structure and the baby hit the pavement and is now in critical condition.  My first thought was, what is wrong with people?  That is a question that is not easily answered.  We assume that she must have been overwhelmed, frustrated, or stressed out to contemplate on how anyone could ever do this to their child.  Maybe she was just crazy and needed help.  Now it is too late for her to get help, at least the kind of help she should have received to prevent such a tragedy.  It is not enough of an excuse to be overwhelmed, stressed out, etc to ever harm a child, period.  When it comes to your child or you see someone in your life that has children, you cannot take any chances.  Get help, get someone you love that has children help, don't put that child's life at risk.  You don't want to intervene?  You don't want to hurt your sister, sister in law, friend's feelings?  It doesn't matter, that child doesn't have a voice, you do.  If you are a mother who is feeling overwhelmed, can't take it anymore, feels like screaming, wants to pull your hair out, the baby is driving you crazy, GIVE THE CHILD TO SOMEONE while you get it together.  Give the baby to your husband, mother, friend, someone you trust, so you can rest, relax, "get away" if you need to.  Believe me, we have all been there.  We have all felt like screaming and running away and the feeling like you can't take it anymore.  The difference is that we recognize that this will all pass, but in the mean time, we ask for help.  We all need help and there is nothing wrong with admitting it.  What is wrong is hurting your child because you can't ask for help.  That child needs you, relies on you, looks up to you, trusts you, has his/her life and well being in your hands.  This is the most precious life you will ever have in your possession.  If you feel like you are literally going "crazy" or have inappropriate thoughts, seek medical help immediately.  There is help out there if you just allow yourself to get better.  It may be embarrassing to admit you need help, but that is better then have something happen to your child and then you go to jail.  That is embarrassing.  You can't come back from death, that is final.  If your child survives, it will have life long consequences for you and your child.  We need to give mothers the support we need in order to be the mother our child deserves. 
I make this pledge to my children and I hope others will follow:  "I love you so much that I will do anything to protect you, even if it is from myself."


  1. Brenda H said...

    Some states have Children Protective Services that have programs made available to parents that they can allow CPS to take the child for 2 or 3 days without losing rights to their children.

    In Buffalo, NY a few years ago, a mother left her 3-year-old child in an ER bathroom with a note. That didn't fall under safe haven laws, but when the mother was found, she was not arrested because they were happy she found a safe place for her child rather than did something to harm the child.

    This was a great blog and I hope that many people realize that sometimes, for unexplained reasons, mothers hurt their children.

  2. Unfortunately, people have put up with the myth that motherhood is easy and natural and that good mothers love to be mothers. Um, hello? It's not easy. And there are days when people hate it.

    We need to provide support systems for people who need them. We can't just accept that the minute a person becomes pregnant she turns into super mommy. And we need to understand that there are many outside pressures that can affect parenting. Nobody is perfect. Not even a mother.

    Sorry it took so long to see this link. I am Facebook Stupid :)