On Today Moms, they conducted a study among moms (I wasn't a part of it) that showed some insight on just how moms feel about motherhood. Some of the "secrets" that moms revealed were that
"I cry myself to sleep sometimes because I am overwhelmed and I don't feel like I can talk to anyone about it.” and some prefer sleep over sex. There were many more, some I could relate to and others I was like, "really?" For instance, moms confessed to regular medicating their kids so they could get some peace and quiet in the home. Trying not to judge, because I have thought about how nice it would be to give them a dose of something so they could just knock the f out, but this just seems wrong. Anywho, not judging... :-) Oh, judging was another thing that moms confessed to doing, like if you see an overweight child, many moms judge to themselves that how can that kid's mom allow the child to get like that. I'll admit, I do judge sometimes (like I just did about the medication), but most of the time before I judge, I think about my own situation and try to put myself in the other mom's shoes. When I do that, I don't judge, I empathize. We need more support and empathy for us moms. It is hard enough as it is to be a mom and then we have to worry about other moms judging us when everyone else in our lives already do that? I can relate to many of the confessions moms made in the study, like the crying cause of being overwhelmed thing. I get stressed out some days and feel like I do not have anyone to talk to. My hubby is already stressed out because of work, my other mom friends have their own worries so why put that on them, and I don't want to worry my parents. So, it is easy to feel alone. It is hard to reach out when you have a worry you might be judged if you put it out there. The "prefer sleep to sex" confession is one of mine as well. You are just so freaking tired, taking care of the kids, fixing breakfast/lunch/dinner, doing chores, cleaning up the kid's mess, picking up toys for the umpteenth time, running errands, etc etc etc oh yeah now it is 10 o'clock and I need to take another shower to "freshen up" and slip into something sexy to go at it and exhaust myself for another 20 minutes. I feel sorry for my hubby because most nights I just want to freaking sleep! I don't feel sexy, I don't have any energy left, I could just lay there and sleep for a week.
Some other confessions that I have are:
1. There are times I just want to be left alone and don't want to deal with the kids at all
2. After my son not listening to me for the whole day, I let some things slip when I shouldn't cause I just don't have the energy to correct him or put him in time out. At that moment, I just don't care!
3. If I get invited to do something and I don't feel like going, I'll use my kids as an excuse to get out of it. "Oh, so and so isn't feeling well, "Little one has a doctor appointment," or "She's just really clingy right now, it will be a headache."
4. Sometimes I wish I wasn't a mom. Of course I love my kids and love being a mom, but there are those times I fantasize on my pre-baby days. You can go to the movies when you want, sleep in till noon, you can just get up and go and not have to pack for an army, you can sit down an enjoy an entire meal in peace, and you can go to the bathroom without worrying the house will burn down.
5. I get annoyed and frustrated if my kids don't take their naps. I know they are little and don't do it on purpose, but there are days when I really need them to take a nap or I'm going to lose it. So the days I have the least amount of patience, they seem to not go down for sleepytime. Like that book reads, "Baby, Go the F the Sleep!" (that book is genius by the way)
When all is said and done, all my 18 mo old has to do is give me one of her big goofy smiles or my 3 yr old will ask me "Mommy, you need a hug?" to snap me back to my sane, more patient self.
It is important that we get the support, help, alone time, and rest we need. By giving us these things, it allows us to be better moms and not flip out. We are like rubber bands, we can only be stretched so much before we break.